Final Judgement: Mass Effect 2

This final judgement has been a long time coming. I've just had too many games to play. This will be short and sweet.
Highly Recommended.

Mass Effect 2 made me care about characters in a game more than anything else to date. There is a point near the end of the game where I was physically worried about some of my crew while waiting to see if they would die or not.

Mass Effect 2 felt like a continuation of the previous game more than any other sequel. The second I saw my Shepard (the one true Shepard) with her red hair, I was transported back two years ago and couldn't wait to see what happens next, and see how the things I did in Mass Effect 1 would effect this new game.

Mass Effect 2's story starts with amazing impact and is quickly paced in such a way that somehow you forget about your old crew and are immediately enthralled by all the new crew members you find.

Mass Effect 2 initially rubbed me a little wrong, I was off put by the 'removed' RPG features of the last game like weapon/armor management and stat points. After playing the game for a bit and getting used to the new mechanics I saw most changes as improvements. I still miss loot. I think since the game is so much a gears-like-shooter I couldn't help but notice the cover mechanics timing and controls were off a little. I spent too much time mining. These are purely minor complaints.

I'm shocked by the huge amount of drastic gameplay changes that went into Mass Effect 2 compared to it's predecessor. Going logic is if a game sells really well, like Mass Effect, you should make a sequel and not change too much. Bioware really took fan and review feedback to heart. They cut away all sorts of things that were detracting from the story and core combat. Instead of making another decent RPG with guns, they made a good shooter with a story that you can truly effect, something that no other shoot has even come close to.

I applaud them for it. I can't wait to see where the franchise goes next, and I can't wait to import my save game into Mass Effect 3.

I guess my biggest disappoint with Mass Effect 2 is that it made my time with Dragon Age feel like even more of a waste.

Bayonetta: FINAL Final Judgements

Thank you, Google Image Search. Thank you so very much. So, seeing as Grits did a pretty solid job of reviewing Bayonetta, previously, I'm going to try to keep this as succinct as possible. On with THE BAD!

Oh-so judgemental A lot of my good/bad from Bayonetta are going to be struggles. This would be the first. You see, Bayonetta is very similar to games like Devil May Cry and Ninja Gaiden, in that it judges your performance at the end of every chapter. I've come to learn that this is really just a way for the game to make you feel like shit, no matter how well you performed. Now, I do understand that games like this are structured to be "CHALLENGING", for people who aren't me. People who get obsessive about combos and blocking and such that I'll never be able to understand, let alone master. Probably not a bad for everyone, but I always end up hating it.

Camera! For a game that relies so heavily upon it's dodge mechanic, you'd think that the game would go to great lengths to make sure you're able to see where most attacks are coming from. Not entirely so with Bayonetta. I found that times when the screen got crowded with enemies, or more particularly, when you're fighting some of the game's larger enemies, it becomes very difficult to see what the enemies are doing. Which, leads you to getting mad-judged upon, and I think you know how I feel about that.

A Little Effort, Please? Make no mistake, I have absolutely no problem with the over-the-top nature of Bayonetta's story. I have to say, however, that toward the game I started to grow tired of Bayonetta's over-long cutscenes. This is another point where Bayonetta parallels the Devil May Cry series. It feels like throughout the game that pertinent details are purposefully left out, just to make it more confusing. It's been made clear that Sega sees Bayonetta as an exploitable franchise, which I like. I would, however, like to see the story tightened up going forward.

Yep, that's pretty much it. Now, watch as I bring it with THE GOOD

Sexy Fun Time If you were to pay attention to gaming press, in general, you'd be hearing all about how far back games like Bayonetta set us. Being someone who gave up on the concept of waiting on gaming's "CITIZEN KANE", a long time ago, I kind of like the game's playful tone. I will admit, sometimes it's a bit too juvenile for my tastes. By and large, though, I enjoy it. Not boner-enjoy it, mind you. I'm not salivating over this and hiding it from my wife. That's something different entirely. I think that the over-sexualized tone that Bayonetta presents is "fun", and that pretentious gaming enthusiasts should loosen up.

Dodge As I've referenced earlier, I have always struggled with games that encourage you to avoid being hit, rather than just fighting Fighting FIGHTING. Bayonetta does this, and I struggled, unsurprisingly. I will say say that Bayonetta's usage of Dodge, rather than many other game's usage of Block somehow works out better. I can't entirely explain it, but it just felt more comfortable. Also, well-timed blocks triggering a bullet-time mechanic was also pretty spiffy.

WHAT?! Whereas I would have liked the story in Bayonetta to make more sense, I did quite enjoy how weird it was all the time. Things like driving missiles, starting motorcycles with her middle finger, demon-summoning hair, and lipstick bullets are the kind of off-the-wall things I really like in games. Bayonetta pushes creativity in ways I feel like most games aren't comfortable with pushing, lest they alienate potential customers. I appreciate you for this, Bayonetta.

Characters I was surprised by how much I liked many of the characters in the game. I will admit, I wasn't supremely into all of them, and the EVIL side of the game really has no fleshed-out characters at all. The ones I did like, however, were really great. Besides Bayonetta herself, I'll really be looking forward to seeing the likes of Luka, Rodin, and my main man ENZO returning in the sequel.

Judging in Increments No, I do not like being judged on performance. What I do like about Bayonetta, though, is how it judges you on a battle-by-battle basis and gives you a composite score based upon that at the end of the chapter. It at least gives you an idea of where you need to improve, and also allows for exploration outside of said battles where other games do not.

New Game + There is a metric ton of upgrades in Bayonetta, which is awesome. So much, in fact, that you really can't get it all in one run. At least, I think so. Games nowadays should ALWAYS implement this feature.

All in all, more good than bad. I would recommend this game to just about anyone. Seeing as the game has easier settings, the only barrier to entry would be if you're the type of person who has a low tolerance for wacky, incomprehensible stories. What're you waiting for, then, Give it a go!

FINAL Final Judgement: Pretty damned good!

this is me being succinct

"Masterpiece" Really Kojima?

I've been silent raging for a while since Metal Gear Peace Walker was sold as 'the next really Metal Gear'. This Kotaku story however is too much. I understand that you don't want to spend another 4 years making another real MGS game. You've spent the last decade constantly pushing the visual bar for console games, now you expect that people will take this game serious because it's going to be a sweet looking PSP game? Ridiculous.

The MGS games have been a love it or hate it series since MGS2, many people (including myself) have had a really hard time dealing with the crazy, self important story. Others have problems with the odd control schemes used to play your 'stealth games'. Regardless of these issues and complaints many people push through for the amazing cinematics and top tier production values.

So what are you trying to offer people this time? Even less intuitive controls, even for your core fans? Laughable graphics, somehow we should be impressed because they are on a handheld? So I guess all that leaves is more off the wall, cringe-worthy 'story' that I can hold in my hand... I can't imagine who this game is for, other than like I said at the beginning, Kojima himself, because he doesn't have it in him right now to do another real MGS game.

I'll pass, again. Please stop trying to sell it so hard.

BetaMax!: Blur

Special thanks to the uber-gnawesome Papercut over at the equally gnawsome 11 O' Clock Comics forums for passing me a code to this. I've been a big fan of Bizarre Creations since I went crazy-love at first sight on their excellent O.G. Xbox launch title Project Gotham Racing. A game who's subsequent sequels have been equally tasty. I have to say, I honestly don't know much about Blur. The little I've heard is that it's a take on the Mario Kart style, using real-world cars. Sounds helluva good to me. Anyway, I'm typing this as the beta is downloading, so I haven't much else to say, other than another thank-you to the excellent Papercut for the code.

Wonderwall

March Goals: An Uphill Battle

So, let's not beat around the bush. My March Goals are, to put it very kindly, tardy. Obviously, I feel horrible about it. There are few things in this world I take more seriously than, y'know, updating my award-winning video game blog. To be fair, though, at some point, without my knowing, I must have eaten 4 McDonald's burgers & chased it down with a liter of Tijuana water, and I've just barely regained the ability to type.

That being said, my March is going to be an uphill battle. Even in the face of Grits's ridiculous (yet irresistible) RE5 goals. The inclusion of Lost in Nightmares, Desperate Escape, and the other various DLC delights has really re-ignited my jonze for it. Even so much as to spur me into purchasing the ever-hated competitive multiplayer DLC, in an effort to achieve Grits's lofty goals. But, seeing as I've been pretty sick for the past couple of weeks and really haven't felt much like gaming, my other goal will be equally difficult.

I've tasked myself with the relatively soft-touch goal of finishing Bayonetta, which Grits has graciously borrowed to me. Thus far, I find him to be correct, the game is bizarre and awesome. I'll keep you all posted, as I'm sure there's a lot of edge-seat sitting a' goin on.

February Goals: Yo Fiddy!

I totally completed my solo gaming goals and man what a way to start out the year. Finishing up Bayonetta and Mass Effect 2, both games blew me away, and for different reasons. Bayonetta is like the crack cocaine of action games. Mass Effect 2 is a game that I think everything else this year will be compared against.

Yeah so like Razorburn was saying, we wussed out on our coop goal, 50% of the blame is on me, the other half is on Gearbox for releasing the hot new Borderlands DLC. Razorburn was diligent and really tried to get me to man up, but I just didn't want to play anything online other than Borderlands. Sorry Modern Warfare 2 coop, you'll have to wait for another day.

That brings us to March's goals. For me I'm going to try and force myself to finish Assassin's Creed II. It shouldn't be that hard but for some reason I have never been able to get into the first game after multiple tries, it just felt kind of boring after first blush. I picked up Assassins's Creed II shortly after it came out, for some reason, against my better judgement. It has received a good amount of GotY love. I recently started playing it and I'm still really having a hard time getting into it. I hope it will pickup, anyway, my burden and goal is to finish this supposedly awesome game.

The coop goal I purpose is large and might be a multi-month, but Resident Evil 5 (my personal favorite game of 2009) released probably the best single piece of DLC last night. It is the hotness and I am just back in a RE5 mood. I want to finish up all the achievements for it, S class son! This will require a ton of coop time . I hope Razorburn will have my back as Sheva! Woooo!

RE5: Desperate FINAL JUDGEMENTS

March 4th saw the release of the second, and final (for now) campaign DLC for Resident Evil 5. Last month's "Lost in Nightmares", was a pleasant, if slightly sparse, surprise. So, the purchasing of a more action-oriented adventuring featuring Grits/Razor-fave JOSH STONE, in a behind-the-scenes mission explaining how Jill Valentine and our badass hero got to where they were at the end of the main story was really a foregone conclusion. How can you resist the temptation, you may ask? Well, I'll tell you with THE BAD:

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It Ends: Outside of the patently ridiculous, this is about the only bad thing I can say about this DLC. I mean, sure, Grits and I took turns making each other laugh by throwing out unfathomably awesome theories as to what could possibly make this side-mission better, (I mean, at the end of it, Josh could pick up Jill and fly away with her, unassisted, trailing a magic rainbow that melts zombies. That would be awesome, right?) but the outright truth is that this DLC more than delivered with THE GOOD:

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Massive Action DLC: or MAD, as I prefer to call it. This mission seems to pack in, pound for pound, just as much, if not more, action than the main game. Hordes and hordes of zombies come at you, almost without end, through the entire mission. So many, in fact, that Grits speculated that this side mission is really a subtle way of telling people who haven't tried it, so far, that the game's excellent Mercenaries mode is worth trying out. I don't recall there being a single puzzle in this game. Unless you count tricking multiple Chainsaw McSackfaces into walking next to a cluster of legions-worth of red barrels. Make no mistake, if you thought that Lost in Nightmares was an indication that the 2-part DLC would be moving in a more tension-based direction, you couldn't be more wrong. Desperate Escape is pure, visceral action.

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Lotsa Good for Not-So-Lotsa: One of the more impressive things about this two-pack of content, is it's price. Each chapter has been, surprising, 400MS points, or 5 dollars apiece. For your five bones, this mission will offer you around two hours of undead-s'plodin' Nirvana. You'll also a few new capsule-figures, as well as unlocking new Josh and Jill characters for the free Mercenaries Reunion mode. This pack is, altogether, a real value.

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Doug: True, he's not a huge part of the mission, but the addition of Josh's helicopter-drivin' buddy. Especially in the game's concluding cutscene, which is so good, you won't believe Capcom put in so much effort for after-market.

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Monday Night Nitro: I'll let the pictures do the talking here.

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WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Easily my favorite part of Desperate Escape, was Josh's Pro-Wrestling-inspired melee moves. From the aforementioned elbow-drop, to his spectacular suplex, Josh Stone's every move epitomized the true spirit of The Nature Boy.

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I've spent the better part of the last year recommending RE5 to anyone I can, as well as trying to get them in the right mood to truly appreciate it. Desperate Escape is a perfect addition to that, already, spectacular 'splosion-actionfest. As DLC goes, I cannot recommend this this one enough.

FINAL JUDGEMENT: Seriously, why aren't you playing it right now?!

Hang it Up: American McGee

Hey guys, you remember that one time in the 90's when American McGee capitalized on the Slutty Halloween Costume trade and made a good game (for it's time) out of a dark re-imagining of the Alice in Wonderland universe? Yeah, me too. Unfortunately, much like Tim Burton has overstayed his dark re-imaginative welcome, McGee kept coming back at us with the same shtick every couple of years.
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The standout of his career seeming to be the relatively well-received Scrapland, however, which was about how things like (of course) religion, politics, and finance are all areas that are really really corrupt on the inside. This game is notable for having the "American McGee's", tag above the title, but not being about replacing juvenile fiction with art from a junior high student's English folder.
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Well, rest assured that American McGee is back in the American McGee driver's seat with this bit of teaser art I saw today on Kotaku.


Aw, C'mon American, hang it up already! Shyamalan thinks you're gimmick is getting a little tired at this point. You proved, to some extent, with Scrapland that you don't have to rely on "edginess", just to sell a game. Please, FOR THE CHILDREN, pull yourself out of the 90's & just make a game. Just look at what someone with creativity can do, once they let go the concept of darkening everything.

February Goals: Half

Only two months in, and I've already stumbled. That is to say, my gaming goals for February were kind of half-assed. It did come with an epiphany, however. Victoriously, I conquered No More Heroes, just as I'd promised. A full-on FINAL JUDGEMENTS is forthcoming for that title, and I'm really looking forward to it. Opinions I've presented about the games I've played, thus far, have been pretty cut and dried. How I feel, postmortem, about NMH is very conflicted, and I'm anticipating exploring those feelings. What I would like to talk about, is how Grits and I never did get around to sampling any of the coop missions in Modern Warfare 2.

Picture it, if you will: February 26. A balmy evening. A dog howled in the distance, and it suddenly occurred to me that it was getting pretty damned late in the month, and I'd not yet completed either of my gaming goals. On one hand, I was making excellent progress in NMH, and was quite certain I'd finish before the week's end. On the other, I hadn't done a damn thing with Grits & MW2. I texted my dawg to inform him as much. I figured that maybe one good night session would push us through on it. He responded to me in his usual, punctual fashion, in the negative. This was unexpected. What was I to do?! I'd devoted myself, completely, to the cause of Gaming Goals, but I needed Grits to complete said goals. Then, Grits informed me as to why we would not be completing set goals. Namely, The Secret Armory of General Knoxx. As his earlier post informs, we've been playing a lot of it since it came out.

Admittedly, I was hesitant. Dammit, I wanted to get them goals in! But, further explanation from Grits did ring true, and has led me to believe that we should, if not discontinue monthly coop goals entirely, that we should only set them for ourselves when they are applicable. You see, the impetus behind our Monthly Gaming goals were to, for one, force us into burning through the stacks of older games we weren't getting around to on a reasonable timetable. For two, they would force us out of our comfort zones with games, in an effort to make us more well-rounded. You see, for me, I've been feeling over the past year or so, that I've gotten a bit stodgy with what I will and will not play. That I'm denying myself some great experiences, simply because the act of playing some of them makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. When it comes down to it, playing coop MW2 just doesn't fit into either of those categories. Especially when you consider we would have been putting off the epically fun coop of playing Borderlands with DrSmooth and Chester.

So, in conclusion, I have a very warm, ABC After School Special, feeling of growth coming out of February. I feel like, going forward, gaming goals will be more productive, and hopefully less forced. It's such a foregone conclusion, so I don't feel like it'll make that, now-stringent, coop goal status, but RE5's second batch of campaign DLC is up this week. It'll be interesting to see if Grits and I's perspectives change at all, now that we'll be playing Josh and Jill, rather than Sheva and GUN SHOW.

Up Next: The future is a little cloudy. In the wake of finishing No More Heroes, I'm taking a little bit of a break, and don't quite know what I want next. Hopefully I'll be able to let you know in NMH's FINAL JUDGEMENTS.