Been a while...

So, been a long time. Did everyone miss us? Sure you did. April ended up being a very busy REAL LIFE month and writing just sort of got away from me. Through the course of the following week, I hope to rectify that. Beyond the following wrap up of April's goals, I'll also be pushing out reviews on Splinter Cell: Conviction, Darksiders, and God of War III. Hell, by the time I get done with that, I might be done with Red Faction: Guerrilla. But enough of what I'm going to do. Let's talk about what I tried to do.

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As I had stated, April was Nut up or Shut Up month. For several months... No, it's even more than that. For several years, the Street Fighter franchise has been an open wound to me. It's been something I've always wanted to partake in, even purchased several volumes of, but never been able to penetrate. For April, I challenged myself to finish the game with, at least, 4 characters. I succeeded in finishing the game with Fei Long, Abel, Crimson Viper, and Zangief. In addition to goal-completion, I also finished it with Ryu, Bison, Vega, and Chun-Li... All on the "easiest" difficulty. It's hard not to feel a bit ashamed of having to rely on a difficulty TWO levels below what is termed "easy", but that is where I find myself. After finding myself much more familiar with the games controls, moves, and mechanics, I got a big cocky and tried a little "Normal". Cammy saw fit to teach me harsh lessons about bravado, unfortunately. I will say that I am very happy with my progress, however. At this point, I no longer "fear" the game, and actually look forward to playing it.

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As far as the ongoing goal of S-classing RE5, well, I'm not sure we got around to playing anything online in April. The struggle marches on, I guess.

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Now, goals for May. We're already more than half done with the month, so I'm not eager to push myself too hard. How about finishing Street Fighter IV with a character on Normal? I guess that's something. Let's run with it.

Splinter Cell: Conviction First Impressions

I had been dreading this week for a while now. The Internet had gone a long way toward convincing me that the newest installment of Sam Fisher's badassery was going to be a whiff. Honestly, I really need to stop talking to the Internet.

True, I've only played through what feels like the first mission, but I'm having a lot better time than I'd anticipated. Statements I'd heard about the game being closer to a Bourne atmosphere than a Splinter Cell one are largely accurate. There are smatterings of past volumes of the franchise here, but this game has really been refined for a more action-oriented gamer. Which, I think is good. I goozex'd Double Agent a few months back, in anticipation, and I'm not convinced that the hardcore stealth aspects of the earlier games stand up in today's gaming.

So far, I'm predictably enjoying things like Mark and Execute and Last Known position. The game also seems to borrow some of it's climbing, and subsequent climbing executions from Assassin's Creed, Ubisoft's other cash cow. I'm also liking this more brutal version of Sam.
I don't think I need to tell any of you how satisfying breaking a urinal with a man's face is.

The only detractor, so far, seems to be the game's visuals. Just like with Assassin's Creed, I don't think the game looks bad. It's just that I think I've been spoiled in the past year by games like Resident Evil 5 and Mass Effect 2 for beautiful character models, and Brutal Legend for emotive ones.

Assassin's Creed II: Final Judgement

I didn't like the first Assassin's Creed. I bought it right when it came out in 2007 and it took me months to get around to doing much of anything with it. It might have been that so many amazing games were out back then, but even during some slow times I could never get around to it. Let's just say I was skeptical of all the love, and game of the year awards Assassin's Creed II was getting around the end of last year.

Again I bought Assassin's Creed II right when it came out (somehow I bought all the hype that this one was different and a must play). Again there were too many awesome games to play, again, so I put off playing it. Thanks to this little site Razorburn and I have set up, I had some motivation to finish it as a monthly goal.

So when I started playing the game I was immediately put off by the slow setup. I was not enjoying the tutorials disguised as boring tasks. Luckily, if you can call it that after about two hours, the game started to pick up. I started to really enjoy the setting and the story. I started to get used to, and actually enjoying the controls. There were enough things to do that I was 'feeling it'. Later in the game, however, there is a point where you go back to the 'real world'. When that happened, I got excited, but quickly bored again when I came back and the story just fell on the floor.

At that point, I was done with the game. I had become keenly aware that I was doing delivery mission after delivery mission with very little in the way of compelling motivation. At this point, the infrequent control issues I'd been experiencing throughout the game started to become much more glaring. The late game had harder climbing tasks that would result in me dying instead of just having to retry things. I also started to realize I was holding down the right trigger, A, and Up for 20-30 seconds at a time, with nothing else happening. Am I playing this game or is it playing me? Money became pointless after I spent it all on upgrading my village. The upgrade tree was a bit too short and I maxed things out long before the end of the story, and believe me I wasn't chasing side quests.

The combat, something that I tolerated in the game for the most part (probably one of the worst features of the game), became laughable with the harder enemies. In many cases later on, the best option was generally to put your weapon away and wait so you could do a disarming action on them... Here's a tip, if your 'combat' punishes the player for being active and actually trying to do something with his weapons, and his best option is to sit and wait; to be reactive when six dudes are circling menacingly around him for seconds at a time with nothing happening... You have failed.

It probably sounds like I hated the game, and I did at points, but overall I did like it. It had some of the best challenging and intense platforming I've seen in a modern game with the six hidden Assassin Tombs. I really enjoyed those. There were some great points to the story. The ending of the game had an amazingly 'meta' moment that I loved. Also, the controls are unique and when they work they can make you feel powerful and awesome.

What really bothered me, deep down, was that I can't understand how anyone could call this game of the year with the likes of Uncharted 2, Resident Evil 5, Borderlands, Modern Warfare 2, and Arkham Asylum, out last year. I personally thought all of those games were better than this.

Partially recommended, but beware if you didn't like the first game.
Score: 8/10

March Goals: Halfsies again!

In 06, apparently... Anyway, March was something of an imbalance where I gave myself a single-player goal that was a meatball in finishing Bayonetta. There was pretty much no way I wasn't going to hit that. As I'd stated previously, I had a good time with it, but I don't think I quite reached the heights of satisfaction Grits had with it.

Multiplayer, on the other hand, was never going to happen. Grits said as much when he proposed it, that S-Classing RE5 achievements would probably end up being a multi-month goal set for us. In March, however, we did make some solid progress with the DLC campaigns. The true test of our mettle, we still haven't touched. The looming spectre of competitive multiplay. OoooooooooooOOOooooOOOOOOoooooo!

So, not a bad month overall. Assumptions are that RE5 will remain the multiplayer goal for the month. On the single-play side... I'm feeling shaky about this, but I think I'm gonna officially make April NUT UP or SHUT UP month. For years, I've been Capcom's willing bitch. I purchase every iteration of Street Fighter that comes my way, each time telling myself that this will be the magic purchase. The One that will bring balance. The one where I will finally attain, at the very least, competence in Street Fighter. I fail every time, without question. So, with that in mind, I'm setting the goal for myself that I will complete the campaign's of at least 4 characters in Street Fighter 4.

The nuts are at an all time low, people. Can I elevate them? Join us in May, True Believers, and find out!

Final Judgement: Mass Effect 2

This final judgement has been a long time coming. I've just had too many games to play. This will be short and sweet.
Highly Recommended.

Mass Effect 2 made me care about characters in a game more than anything else to date. There is a point near the end of the game where I was physically worried about some of my crew while waiting to see if they would die or not.

Mass Effect 2 felt like a continuation of the previous game more than any other sequel. The second I saw my Shepard (the one true Shepard) with her red hair, I was transported back two years ago and couldn't wait to see what happens next, and see how the things I did in Mass Effect 1 would effect this new game.

Mass Effect 2's story starts with amazing impact and is quickly paced in such a way that somehow you forget about your old crew and are immediately enthralled by all the new crew members you find.

Mass Effect 2 initially rubbed me a little wrong, I was off put by the 'removed' RPG features of the last game like weapon/armor management and stat points. After playing the game for a bit and getting used to the new mechanics I saw most changes as improvements. I still miss loot. I think since the game is so much a gears-like-shooter I couldn't help but notice the cover mechanics timing and controls were off a little. I spent too much time mining. These are purely minor complaints.

I'm shocked by the huge amount of drastic gameplay changes that went into Mass Effect 2 compared to it's predecessor. Going logic is if a game sells really well, like Mass Effect, you should make a sequel and not change too much. Bioware really took fan and review feedback to heart. They cut away all sorts of things that were detracting from the story and core combat. Instead of making another decent RPG with guns, they made a good shooter with a story that you can truly effect, something that no other shoot has even come close to.

I applaud them for it. I can't wait to see where the franchise goes next, and I can't wait to import my save game into Mass Effect 3.

I guess my biggest disappoint with Mass Effect 2 is that it made my time with Dragon Age feel like even more of a waste.

Bayonetta: FINAL Final Judgements

Thank you, Google Image Search. Thank you so very much. So, seeing as Grits did a pretty solid job of reviewing Bayonetta, previously, I'm going to try to keep this as succinct as possible. On with THE BAD!

Oh-so judgemental A lot of my good/bad from Bayonetta are going to be struggles. This would be the first. You see, Bayonetta is very similar to games like Devil May Cry and Ninja Gaiden, in that it judges your performance at the end of every chapter. I've come to learn that this is really just a way for the game to make you feel like shit, no matter how well you performed. Now, I do understand that games like this are structured to be "CHALLENGING", for people who aren't me. People who get obsessive about combos and blocking and such that I'll never be able to understand, let alone master. Probably not a bad for everyone, but I always end up hating it.

Camera! For a game that relies so heavily upon it's dodge mechanic, you'd think that the game would go to great lengths to make sure you're able to see where most attacks are coming from. Not entirely so with Bayonetta. I found that times when the screen got crowded with enemies, or more particularly, when you're fighting some of the game's larger enemies, it becomes very difficult to see what the enemies are doing. Which, leads you to getting mad-judged upon, and I think you know how I feel about that.

A Little Effort, Please? Make no mistake, I have absolutely no problem with the over-the-top nature of Bayonetta's story. I have to say, however, that toward the game I started to grow tired of Bayonetta's over-long cutscenes. This is another point where Bayonetta parallels the Devil May Cry series. It feels like throughout the game that pertinent details are purposefully left out, just to make it more confusing. It's been made clear that Sega sees Bayonetta as an exploitable franchise, which I like. I would, however, like to see the story tightened up going forward.

Yep, that's pretty much it. Now, watch as I bring it with THE GOOD

Sexy Fun Time If you were to pay attention to gaming press, in general, you'd be hearing all about how far back games like Bayonetta set us. Being someone who gave up on the concept of waiting on gaming's "CITIZEN KANE", a long time ago, I kind of like the game's playful tone. I will admit, sometimes it's a bit too juvenile for my tastes. By and large, though, I enjoy it. Not boner-enjoy it, mind you. I'm not salivating over this and hiding it from my wife. That's something different entirely. I think that the over-sexualized tone that Bayonetta presents is "fun", and that pretentious gaming enthusiasts should loosen up.

Dodge As I've referenced earlier, I have always struggled with games that encourage you to avoid being hit, rather than just fighting Fighting FIGHTING. Bayonetta does this, and I struggled, unsurprisingly. I will say say that Bayonetta's usage of Dodge, rather than many other game's usage of Block somehow works out better. I can't entirely explain it, but it just felt more comfortable. Also, well-timed blocks triggering a bullet-time mechanic was also pretty spiffy.

WHAT?! Whereas I would have liked the story in Bayonetta to make more sense, I did quite enjoy how weird it was all the time. Things like driving missiles, starting motorcycles with her middle finger, demon-summoning hair, and lipstick bullets are the kind of off-the-wall things I really like in games. Bayonetta pushes creativity in ways I feel like most games aren't comfortable with pushing, lest they alienate potential customers. I appreciate you for this, Bayonetta.

Characters I was surprised by how much I liked many of the characters in the game. I will admit, I wasn't supremely into all of them, and the EVIL side of the game really has no fleshed-out characters at all. The ones I did like, however, were really great. Besides Bayonetta herself, I'll really be looking forward to seeing the likes of Luka, Rodin, and my main man ENZO returning in the sequel.

Judging in Increments No, I do not like being judged on performance. What I do like about Bayonetta, though, is how it judges you on a battle-by-battle basis and gives you a composite score based upon that at the end of the chapter. It at least gives you an idea of where you need to improve, and also allows for exploration outside of said battles where other games do not.

New Game + There is a metric ton of upgrades in Bayonetta, which is awesome. So much, in fact, that you really can't get it all in one run. At least, I think so. Games nowadays should ALWAYS implement this feature.

All in all, more good than bad. I would recommend this game to just about anyone. Seeing as the game has easier settings, the only barrier to entry would be if you're the type of person who has a low tolerance for wacky, incomprehensible stories. What're you waiting for, then, Give it a go!

FINAL Final Judgement: Pretty damned good!

this is me being succinct

"Masterpiece" Really Kojima?

I've been silent raging for a while since Metal Gear Peace Walker was sold as 'the next really Metal Gear'. This Kotaku story however is too much. I understand that you don't want to spend another 4 years making another real MGS game. You've spent the last decade constantly pushing the visual bar for console games, now you expect that people will take this game serious because it's going to be a sweet looking PSP game? Ridiculous.

The MGS games have been a love it or hate it series since MGS2, many people (including myself) have had a really hard time dealing with the crazy, self important story. Others have problems with the odd control schemes used to play your 'stealth games'. Regardless of these issues and complaints many people push through for the amazing cinematics and top tier production values.

So what are you trying to offer people this time? Even less intuitive controls, even for your core fans? Laughable graphics, somehow we should be impressed because they are on a handheld? So I guess all that leaves is more off the wall, cringe-worthy 'story' that I can hold in my hand... I can't imagine who this game is for, other than like I said at the beginning, Kojima himself, because he doesn't have it in him right now to do another real MGS game.

I'll pass, again. Please stop trying to sell it so hard.